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Adam was in his 40s and he says in every year of his adult life he had talked himself out of making that call.“‘I should go to the cops,’” he would say to himself. I should go to the cops.’”Then, always, came a second thought: “You could destroy your life.Adopting locally introduced an uncomfortable proximity to a child’s past and the possibility of contact with the birth family.A foreign child would arrive with no strings attached, no birth parents who might show up one day and confuse everything. Elizabeth had friends who had adopted from there, and she and Jeff liked the idea that a Russian child wouldn’t look too different from them.The 55-year-old, a retired teacher at two private Orthodox Jewish schools, was arrested and charged.That news, reported in local media, ended a 20-year internal battle for Adam, a North York man.Growing up as the third of seven siblings, she was used to babies and felt no urge to revisit diapers. “We just felt we had the skill set to be able to help a child.” This is his way of saying that they are intelligent, loving, adaptable people who would make good parents.For a thirty-one-year-old, Jeff, a clerk for Statistics Canada, speaks with the buttoned-up air of someone older: crisp and clinical, but without sounding cold.

Though there are plenty of such children in Canada, adopting overseas seemed more emotionally straightforward than going through a child welfare agency in Ottawa, where they live.For instance, when meeting someone for business, the conversation maybe confined to very safe and neutral topics.When meeting people through friends or associations, the connection may take a deeper level.When meeting Canadians for the first time, there are a number of topics that can be touched upon.But the first question on first contact will be: what do you do?

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